imagine being a han/leia shipper in 1983 and you’ve spent three years hearing from the luke/leia shippers how there’s no chance of han/leia happening because han’s probably dead now and besides the empire strikes back literally ended with luke and leia holding each other and staring into deep space so like obviously you’re an idiot for shipping han/leia and you need to get with the winning team… and then imagine going into that movie… and walking out of that movie… imagine that level of schadenfreude and personal satisfaction
Somewhere in a college lunch room, May 24th, 1983
we popping the BIGGEST bottles when lulei happens tomorrow
Hi my name is Kylo Dark’ness Dementia Raven Ren and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) that reaches my mid-shoulders and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Anikin Skywalker (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Emperor Palpatine but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking villain. I have the force but my lightsaber is a red upside down cross (AN: 666!). I have pale white skin. I have an army called the first order where I’m in the leader (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black shirt with a matching black cape on it, black pants, a black mask like the one Darth Vader used to wear (AN: he’s so cool!) and s pair of black boots. I was wearing white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Jakku. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of Jedi stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
A. Anakin and Padmé were absolutely rubbish at being discreet about their relationship and didn’t even realize it
B. Obi-Wan figured it out himself early on because he isn’t an idiot, and didn’t say anything in the hope that Anakin would eventually tell Obi-Wan himself
C. To make sure Anakin and Padmé’s secret, already poorly-kept by the idiots themselves, didn’t get out to the Council (resulting in Anakin being kicked out of the Order), Obi-Wan found himself having to constantly make distractions for the other Council members when they came close to stumbling upon the truth (which wouldn’t happen so often if you would stop KISSING YOUR SECRET WIFE IN PUBLIC, ANAKIN), including at one point taking Mace Windu out for a beautiful evening at the Galactic Gardens
Mace Windu spends the next few weeks annoyed Obi-Wan hasn’t asked him for a second date.
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